Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Spearing Ahead


I told myself that I would fight any urges to write about Britney’s latest follicular fiasco. I figured that I wouldn’t be the only one tempted to remark, but I also didn’t want to fuel the fires of her cause. But as irony would have it, my attempts of avoidance have led me to comment on the vary thing I set out to ignore. . . . . .

It’s now official. Britney’s head has the same haircut as her vagina. I suppose such measures wouldn’t appear so drastic had they been done by any other celebrity, or had they not made her look even more like the trailer trash she so desperately wants every one to know she is. Her blatant plight for attention is undeniable. While her Mickey Mouse Club counterpart simply got implants, a couple of piercings, and made a song titled “Dirty” (as a means of denouncing the pubescent geenie stage and transitioning into womanhood), Britney decided that she wouldn’t be outdone and proceeded to create the perfect outline for total image destruction. What a better way to ensure being labeled a slut than to suck face with the Material Girl herself (the mega slut of them all) on national television. She must have thought we weren’t taking her seriously because she then decided to confirm her celebrity ineptitude by driving around with a newborn in her lap, exposing the baby’s ultra sensitive skin to flesh melting solar radiation, and then marrying a loser with an IQ slightly higher than that of a house plant. (Parading around with the panty-less Paris certainly doesn’t help.) Britney desperately needs a fucking hobby. She should write a book or something. Okay maybe not, but you know what I mean.

2 comments:

La Cubana Gringa said...

Oh for the LOVE...it's her vulva, not her vagina!!! Now she has the same haircut as her VULVAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Sorry, I'm just a stickler for correct anatomical terms.

:)

Mr. Poopie said...

You're as predictable as PMS! I said Vagina on purpose. Besides, it's sounds soooo much better than vulva:

Condoleezza was kicked in the vulva . . .

Blindfolded, Dr. Ruth shaved her vulva . . . .

That's the biggest vulva I've ever seen!

See? Doesn't sound the same. Wash the sand out of your vagina!