Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Chocolate Jesus

Have you heard about the whack-job that made a life size statue of Jesus out of milk chocolate? I’m all for most anything made of chocolate (as you already know), but give me a break. That’s not even the bad part. He conveniently left out the loin cloth that every other depiction of Christ is respectfully adorned with, leaving him completely naked. What possesses people to do this sort of thing, I’ll never know. Short of peeing in the holy water at church or catapulting fetuses from a high rise, that’s probably a sure fire way to go straight to Hell. I’m guessing.

What a fucking loony. Surely this is a man without a momma. If I did some senseless shit like that, my Mom would make me eat all that chocolate in one sitting, saying Hail Mary’s the whole time. I totally get that he’s an artist, and he’s worked with food in the past, and blah blah blah. But dude, don’t act surprised that people want to pull your eyes out and shove them up your ass, so you can see what a shit head you are for pulling something like that during the holiest week of the year. Dumb ass. Can't you just do some enema painting or fling your feces around like everybody else?

Sure, you can say whatever you want because of freedom of speech and all, but I dare you to scream the “N”-word in the faces of some gang bangers. There will be repercussions my friend (assuming you’re white anyway). And don’t insult a Brown man’s momma either, that shit will get you stabbed, even if the crazy bitch did make him eat 200 pounds of chocolate.

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