Wow, what an exciting weekend! Lots of really wonderful things happened. It was Cinco de Mayo, the Yankees signed The Rocket, expensive horses ran in circles, De La Hoya and Mayweather fought, Spider Man 3 debuted, 18,000 Mexicans got naked for a picture, and it was my birthday (unfortunately their weren’t that many naked people, but I did manage to grab a few asses).
All in all, I must honestly say it was one of the best birthday celebrations I’ve ever had. I think it even trounces the pool party when I turned seven and infamously ended up having to get seven stitches over my right eyelid. I learned that day what it feels like to get strapped to a giant surf board with a neck brace while a doctor tries to suture a wound that you passionately feel doesn’t need any medical attention, regardless of the 2 pints of blood you’ve already decorated the shiny hospital floors with being carried to the O.R. while screaming bloody murder.
I even got some wonderful gifts too. My favorite cologne, some great movies, tickets to a comedy club, money, and enough gift cards to forget what cash looks like for a while. I’m extremely indecisive though, so I usually don’t like to receive gift cards. I’ll end up going to a store and spending insanely amounts of time trying to decide between two different ipod alarm clocks or two pairs of shoes. I hate feeling like I didn’t get a good deal, because what usually happens is I’ll end up talking to someone who stumbled upon a magnificent sale, which included surround sound speakers and blow job. I’ll curse the heavens, write morbid poetry, and fall into a deep depression for failing to find out where this deal was being offered, because everyone knows how much men love a good . . . . .
set of surround sound speakers.