Monday, March 17, 2008

Jurassic Park

You will never believe what I saw at the gym this weekend, an object of antiquity that personifies obsolescence in its purest form, a dinosaur amongst men. A fellow gym patron walked by and as he passed I noticed there was Walkman strapped snugly around his waist, as if proudly on display.

Can you believe that shit? I haven’t seen one of these fossils since, oh I don’t know, the 80’s. The contraption was so enormous, that it had to be tied to this guy’s abdomen by some gigantic neoprene strap with Velcro, resembling more of a corset than anything else. He may as well have walking around with a Boom Box on his shoulder? What the hell is next, fanny packs and calculator watches? Seriously, where does one even find a fucking Walkman? A Betamax would probably fly out of my ass before I could locate one of these relics. Even homeless people own Discmans. Now, in no way am I implying that you need to run out and by yourself an Mp3 player, but holy shit, if strapping an 8 track player to your body is going to be the only way you get to enjoy Gladys Knight and the Pips, I think I have a Best Buy gift card lying around from Christmas that I’ll gladly donate.

Unless you work at a technology museum, or stumbled across a time capsule, there is no reason why you should be caught dead in public with a Walkman. Have some fucking decency.

5 comments:

Ginormous Boobs said...

Maybe the guy is totally cool and retro.

Mr. Poopie said...

boobs - well, from the globetrotter socks he had on, I'll give you retro . . . . but cool is stretchin' it a little.

Mike said...

Hey it's probably part of his workout. It has to weigh about 5 lbs.

Krissyface said...

I think it's sweet. We need to honor our history.

Mr. Poopie said...

mike - Didn't think of it that way. Perhaps he went to great lengths to find the perfect weighted device to incorporate in his workout, or. . . maybe he's just a douche.

krissy - Well, since you put it like that I can't really argue.