Sunday, March 2, 2008

Pet Peeve #137

This might seem a little strange and even a bit nit picky on some levels, but after dropping the kids off at the pool, nothing is more unraveling to me than reaching for the toilet paper to find that the roll was put on upside down (This of course being a close second to reaching for toilet paper to not find any at all).

I realize it may seem a little peculiar, and why this dishevels my peace of mind so much I don't think I'll ever know. What I do know is that this injustice must be reversed immediately and whosoever dared to disrupt the balance of my universe with such a blatant karmic bitch slap must severely experience my wrath (preferably once my pants are no longer around my ankles). You spit in my face you careless toilet paper replacer and I curse you. May you suffer irreparable nerve damage from a paper cut.

Who dares to do this? This thoughtless crime that should be punishable by nothing less than to be beaten by wet bamboo branches and tortured with having to watch Atonement over and over again. My behind will not be disgraced, nor suffer the fate of being wiped with the wrong side of the TP. The only thing worse is having to wipe our ass with that transparent, public restroom, tracing paper, that once folded over a few times may just as well be a handful of razorblades. I'd rather use a pumice stone my friends, or shards of extremely brittle glass. Just for the record.


2 comments:

la cubana gringa said...

Atonement was pretty bad, wasn't it?

Mr. Poopie said...

OMG yes . . . I mean there were some cool elements to it, but for the most part I would have preferred to have been burned over 80% of my body and dipped in lime juice.