Saturday, October 4, 2008

An Inconvenient Truth

I don't claim to be a political expert on debate, but I have seen all the movies on this subject. And what I do expect from individuals who have agreed to debate, is to answer the moderators questions. None of this, "I want to talk about energy", bullshit. We've already heard what you wanted say about your energy plan, and unless you have anything to add, I would appreciate it if you would just stay on the topic at hand. Everyone knows you have wet dreams of long pipelines and enormous drills pounding the earth's surface until all it's natural resources have been depleted and our withering planet has been left vapid and incapable of sustaining life.

And please, for the love of Thomas Jefferson, stop smirking and smiling up there like you're Austin Powers and 'this sorta thing is your bag baby'. Every time you wink at the camera I throw up a little in my mouth. It's not endearing and quite frankly I think it's unprofessional. It's a tasteless tactic and by golly it makes you look stupid. (Well, so does thinking that just because you can throw a paper airplane into Russia's back yard that you're magically experienced in foreign policy) Those stupid elementary antics were not cute when Bush did them, and they are even less so when you do. This is a serious matter and just because you go around wielding words like "change", "maverick", and "oversights", that doesn't make you qualified for a position you clearly are unready for. Many Americans may not, but I see right through you. You were well coached prior to this debate, and you stayed within the parameters of your comfort zone. If you want to prove yourself, do your homework, take this shit seriously, and pretty please, with a fucking cherry on top, just answer the questions.

Another thing that really irritates me is at the end of the debate, is it necessary to have the entire family come up on stage and even more so for you to bounce and burp your baby for a few minutes of air time? You know, to make sure that everyone sees what a wonderful mother you are. Aawww look, the little one is toting the baby around, how cute is that? What's her name, Trinket? Cam Shaft? Spark Plug? No, I don't think so. This isn't show and tell, Mommy is at work. Keep those little ones at home or in the audience where they belong. We don't need you to continue flaunting them around like little shiny medallions of patriotism. All these behaviours only further confirm my suspicions that your selection was merely one of political strategy and that you're nothing more than a poster child for the campaign.

Ah, but what would I know.


Prunella Jones said...


MJ said...

Just stopping by to book a massage appointment.

Oh, hello Pru!

Cheasty said...

god, just the sight of that woman makes me want to climb the walls, stark raving mad, frothing at the mouth. watching the debate was the toughest exercise of self-discipline i've undergone since the last time i went to the dentist. i hate the dentist.

Mr. Poopie said...

Prunella - say no more.

mj - I'm assuming you want the works eh?

cheasty - well, I'm not sure this technique will work for you, but I look for a dentist that has the hottest assistant. It makes the time go by a little faster.

Anonymous said...

youre such an old cynic! though im proud of you anyway.

the madison miracle

Mrs. Hall said...

Well, the debate was pretty much as you stated.

But I respectfully disagree with the kids on stage after the show.

I can't help but feel all proud about that.

It means a lot to me when my I bring my daughter to work (to pick up something I forgot).

Or when she takes my stethescope and pretends to be a nurse practitioner.

I guess it is important for them, well important for me to have them at least notice what Mommy does.

I want to teach them that what I do, being of service to others, matters.

I think that it might happen by proxy. I matter to them and hopefully my values will matter to them.

So yeah, I say, bring the babies on stage. Heck bust out a boobie and feed the little guy.

O wait, she is republican.

hee hee


Mrs. Hall