I watch way too much TV. As a matter of fact, I watch so much TV that my Tivo asks me for recommendations. I think I may have to see a therapist, and by therapist, I mean the ones that hand out antidepressants for Halloween.
My TV turns itself on and off at specified times, records programs 24/7, and I'm working on getting it to make me a sandwich. Not only do I watch too many TV shows, but I can't seem to pry myself away from movies that I've seen a million times either. As many of you know I'm an avid movie watcher, and my collection, that continues to grow like an ass rash, could probably compete with your local Blockbuster. However, when you watch as much TV as I do, so many of the aforementioned movies can still be found in their original packaging collecting dust. I probably loan them out more than I actually watch them, because one of my ultimate pet peeves is talking to people who haven't seen classics. How can you possibly have an appreciation for today's movies if you haven't seen what those actors and directors have done in other works? Get with it, geesh.
But I digress, I was talking about my TV addiction. As with other addictions there usually comes a point at which the afflicted come to realize the path they are on. Drunks call this "a moment of clarity". (There's your movie reference) Well, my epiphany came to me yesterday afternoon while deciding what recorded show I should watch.
There are a plethora of programs I get sucked into, some I'll admit to and others I'll be taking to my grave (Gossip Girl, XoXo). There are some I already know will be shite, but I watch them out of sheer curiosity anyway. One such show that comes to mind is the Dallas Cheerleader tryouts. Yeah, I said it. The reason I tune into this show from time to time, is because of how serious the organization treats the auditions. You would think these bitches were trying out for the FBI. It's priceless. Along the same lines as this media masterpiece, is the Ultimate Coyote Ugly Search. There's just something about a girl in a pair of boots pouring a stiff drink that tugs at my heart strings.
Okay, and now, for the moment you've all been waiting for, the unveiling of Brown's TV lineup. Here they are in order of best entertainment value:
1. Grey's Anatomy - Awesome show, very well written. There's a perfect blend of medical mayhem, drama, and comedy. Some of the characters can be a little whiny, (I wish they would have just drowned Meredith Grey for good) but all in all, it's a well rounded nail biter. You know, there is a reason it has won both an Emmy and a Golden Globe award. I just wish they'd bring back the fiery, red headed Dr. Addison Montgomery. [sigh] Her new show, Private Practice, isn't nearly as good.
2. Fringe - Hot new show by none other than J.J. Abrams, creator of Lost. I'm really into the Sci Fi thing, but I like my science fiction to hinge on the possible. This show does exactly that. I can never wait to see the next episode.
3. Samantha Who - Holy shit! Now this Emmy winning show is hysterically funny. I know, I know, I was a little skeptical at first when my sister made me watch an episode, but let me tell you, that's all it took. Christina Applegate is knee slapper funny in this show about a total bitch who is hit by a car, gets amnesia, and becomes super nice, but still has to deal with the issues created by her former mischievous self. You don't see half of these jokes coming, which in my opinion, make this show refreshingly comical. The chemistry and banter between all the supporting characters is seamless, witty, and hilarious.
4. House - This medical drama is a little edgier, but once you get past the impossibility of how Dr. House treats his staff, (like sending them to raid a patient's apartment) it ranks right up there with the best of them. It's actually ranked the third most watched program on television. If you haven't seen at least one episode, you must be trying not to.
5. Life on Mars - Another awesome new show, with an original look, about a cop who ends up in 1973 after an accident in which he slipped into a coma. He has to deal with being a detective in a time where most of the rules haven't been made yet, catching criminals, and simultaneously searching for clues to help solve his girlfriend's murder in 2008. This show is actually a remake of one that aired two years ago in Britain.
6. Heroes - Another Science fiction show that is sort of a spin off of X-men. Basically a bunch of mutants with special powers due to genetic anomalies, discovering the extent of their abilities while trying to evade people that want them dead. I really loved the first season much more than the second, but I'm staying tuned to see what happens. I sense that they are convoluting the plot by adding too much too soon. I mean, I don't want to get dragged along to the point where I lose interest, as with Lost, but I still want to be intrigued. I hope they don't screw it up. Because really, who wouldn't want to be able to read thoughts, or hurl fire balls. Sign me up Dr. Saresh.
7. CSI, Las Vegas - Crowned the most watched program in 2002, that CBS was encouraged to create two spin offs which aren't nearly as good as the original. I think after 8 seasons, this show has reached "classic" status. Unfortunately, William Peterson (Gil Grissom) has left the show, and although I really like Lawrence Fishbourne, the Sherlock-like Grissom was what kept you watching. I haven't seen any new episodes to decide whether or not I'll stay with this one.
8. Gossip Girl - I know I'm going to take a lot of flak for this one, so I'll just prepare for the impact of mortar rounds now, but this show is intriguingly good. I'm not filthy rich, which is a prerequisite for the lives of this show's characters, but following the lives of a bunch of vengeful and insidious rich kids is kind of fun. I actually hate my sister for even getting me into this crap.
9. Boston Legal - Great show. James Spader, William Shattner, and Candice Bergen (Murphy Brown). Implausible court cases taken on by a diversely quirky Boston law firm. Funny Shit. Enough Said.
10. Survivor/Big Brother - I try to stay away from these damn quasi-reality shows, because once you watch one episode, you have to watch them all. These things will suck the life right out of you. That's right, you'll want to know who's in alliance with who, who's getting voted off, or who will win Head of House Hold. It's all very maddening. I highly recommend avoiding either of these at all costs.
Now that I've given you the main lineup, I have my two favorite shows left, plus a few honorable mentions, that I just don't have time to watch. (Give me a break people, I still need time for Football and Basketball.) My 2nd favorite show, also an Emmy award winner that can only be found on HBO, is Entourage. And only those blessed with Showtime can watch Californication. These two are meant for adult audiences only and contain nudity, sexual content, and foul language. TV heaven! I continuously hear high praises about Rome and Weeds, both of which, along with the first two I mentioned, can be rented from Block Buster. Medium, Pushing Daisies, and Eli Stone, and of course Law & Order, are all honorable mentions.
Well, I think that covers the entire gamut of television programming. What shows do you like to watch?