Wednesday, December 10, 2008

8 mile

Well, I think it's pretty obvious who the Dumb ass of the week is. Unquestionably, the award is bestowed to Plaxico Buress, a wide receiver for the New York Giants football team.

If you haven't heard already, numb nuts took a loaded weapon to a nightclub, and accidentally shot his stupid ass self in the leg. Right. In. The. Leg. I think I may have to repeat this for the sake of clarity; this man entered a night club with a LOADED weapon concealed in the waistline of his PANTS. And the only reason, he got caught for doing so illegally, was the minute fact that the gun accidentally discharged while in his trousers. And I thought this sort of thing only happened to fictional characters like Cheddar Bob.

What I think is even more asinine than the actual act of shooting himself in the leg, is that he is pleading not guilty to charges of criminal possession of a weapon, (basically carrying a weapon without a license) and carrying ammunition for said weapon. Both by the way, are Class C felonies, for which fuck face could be sentenced to 3 1/2 to 15 years in jail if convicted. Gee I wonder what the defense is going to use as their strategy; It wasn't me? Having to receive hospitalization for a gunshot wound from the very weapon you were carrying seems like very incriminating evidence to the contrary. a) You can't successfully shoot yourself in the leg without a gun and b) For you to receive a gunshot wound from the aforementioned weapon, there has to be the presence of ammunition. Guilty as charged, on both accounts.

I am sick and tired of hearing about these professional athletes with weapons in night clubs. How are they even allowed to bring firearms into nightclubs to begin with? If you're so worried about your safety, then hire a damn bodyguard or hang out with the offensive linemen. I'm pretty certain they could stop a bullet or two. Or here's a brilliant idea, If you're supposed to be recovering from an injury, how about not even going out to a fucking club to begin with? How bout that? Ass clown.

I don't think there should be any leniency because he's a professional athlete either. If anything, he should be prosecuted even more harshly for thinking he was above the law. I'm usually not one to desire ill towards my fellow man, but I gotta say, I hope he goes to jail. If for nothing else, just for being a dumb ass.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Quantum of Solace

I really wanted to love this movie. I was so excited to see it, that being let down was the farthest thing from my mind, even after I had discovered they weren't going to keep the same director as it's immediate predecessor, Casino Royale, which was brilliant, edgy, and refreshing. So much so, that I never resist watching it over and over again when the opportunity arises. The director got it right, the casting was spot on, and the actors stepped up to the plate. Most importantly, Daniel Craig hit a home run.

Quantum of Solace needed to be an equally hard hit line drive, but fizzled embarrassingly short of the outfield like a pop fly. Even the opening song was out of place for this movie. Madonna was criticized for her theme song in Die Another Day, to the point where it was left off the movie score entirely. I was amazed to find out that Alecia Keys was on this collaborative piece of crap with Jack White, that was extremely difficult to listen to. It was a rough start from the beginning my friends.

The bond girl was a perfect choice, the pouty Olga Kurylenko, who was in Hitman. However, her part was transparently staged and it seems as though they were trying to make her something the movie did not require her to be (a sniveling head case with daddy issues). Unfortunately, her part could have been extracted all together and we would have never noticed. Speaking of which, 007 didn't even seem remotely attracted to one of the hottest Bond girl's ever, although she was so notably distracted by her own childish antics, that I doubt she would have noticed being hit on anyway. They also tried too hard to make Bond this cold hearted killer on a vengeful rampage of retribution, but never once did he ever show any true emotion toward the woman who's death he was avenging. Actually, he couldn't have been more cavalier about her nonexistence. Is that irony?

On a positive note, all the action sequences were seamlessly executed and very exciting. I enjoyed all of them except for the end when the characters found themselves in some fuel cell powered hotel, (without any people in it mind you) going up in flames, in the middle of a remote desert in Bolivia. Lame. And to top it all off, the main villain in the movie could have very well been an angry Deer Park executive with desires to monopolize the world's water sources. Gee, so eerily sinister. No! You mean to tell me that we will all have to . . . . no, don't make me say it . . . . I refuse . . . . .have to . . . .have to . . . .BUY our water from YOU and no one else? Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Bitch please, can't I just get a ridiculously insane Eastern European villain with female issues and penis envy to build an over sized laser, and want nothing more than to disintegrate largely populated areas for no apparent reason other than his own maniacal amusement?

Even after all of the problems I had with this movie, it still wasn't awful. I guess that says something in itself. As a matter of fact, I'm going to go watch it again. I want to be sure my initial assessment was right. I mean, even I miss a few details from time to time. Besides, I really want to believe that it wasn't as bad as I thought. I'm hoping my expectations were just too high, and that after seeing it again, without being as critical, that I will enjoy it more. You know, sometimes movies have to grow on you. So, with all those things in mind, I think I'll give it another try. Perhaps I shall be the one needing a quantum of solace after watching it again, but let's hope not.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Interview With A Vampire

Well, against my better judgement, I finally succumbed to my sister's relentless pleading to read Twilight. I hope that she doesn't read this, (I feel that my honesty might crush her entirely) but here is what I thought about it in a nutshell; it was okay.

I feel that the story took entirely way too long to develop, and when the suspense had finally peaked, reaching the long awaited climax, much was left to be desired. Kind of like when you finally get to kiss your beautiful date at the end of a exquisite night, you disappointingly discover that a vacuum cleaner, or a Saint Bernard would be a better kisser. The story ended pretty much as ordinarily as it had begun, which after all that had transpired was a bit disappointing and left me with no overwhelming desire to want to read the other three that follow. Granted, I'm not a pubescent female teen, I still feel that a love story with dangerous vampires would have left me a little more satisfied. Of course, the allure of vampires being the only reason I even agreed to read a love story to begin with. And to pacify my sister's groveling pleas, obviously.

I don't mean to be entirely nit picky, but I think the writing wasn't that impressive either. I mean, if I'm going to spend my time reading 500 pages of anything, especially a book that has received as much praise as this one has, I generally prefer for the author to have superior writing skills to mine. Call me old fashioned, but I like authors to either spark my imagination, elicit thought, or keep me entranced with intrigue or suspense. And from time to time, I'm not against a chuckle or two. Not that I think I'm some great writer by any stretch of the imagination, but I suspect that I could have possibly written something comparable, at the very least, a little juicier.

Anyway, it wasn't a bad book by any means. It was a relatively fresh perspective on a subject that Ann Rice has had her fangs sunk into for as long as I can remember. I suppose I just expected more considering how popular the series has become, and how much my 39 year old sister insisted that I read them. I did have to take into consideration that all of her previous reading recommendations up to this point have been more than solid. So, I won't be holding this one against her. After all, unlike Edward . . . . . . . she's only human.