Drumroll please......... The winner is a two way tie! I know, I know...nothing like this has ever happened before, but calm yourselves...shortly you will agree.
First up, the manly Serena Williams. I gleefully hand over the award to Serena, who lost her temper and went off on a line judge at the U.S. Open....in front of millions. The powers at be managed to bleep out the content, but lucky for you my venerable readers, I have been trained by the government to read lips. Although no one will repeat exactly what she said, I know the precise words that were hurled towards the meek and unsuspecting little Asian woman like sharp daggers. Walking towards the unsuspecting woman, with muscles flexing and veins pulsating, Serena said through gritted teeth, "I will shove this fucking ball down your fucking throat!" Upon hearing the threat, the little woman ran to the chair umpire like a defenseless child fleeing from the
The line judge told the chair ump that Serena threatened to kill her, and although those were not the tennis star's exact words, they pretty much meant the same thing to a little Asian woman with no ninja training. Later in the press conference, Serena acted like no one could ever be afraid of her because she's never even been in a fight. Hmmm...would you fight her? I Didn't think so. I fail to see where that path of logic is a sound defensive position.
Since Serena had already been given a previous warning in the match for hurtling her racket, this infraction was a point deduction, a point Serena couldn't afford with the game already at match point. Her opponent won by default. Although the odds were exponentially against her launching a successful comeback at that point in the match, it must undoubtedly suck to lose in such fashion. Serena was eventually fined $10,000 for the outburst, and although I think she should have been suspended, they allowed her to play with her sister in the doubles final. Here's to Serena.....dumbass!
And now, the co-winner of this week's award...[you know what to do]....Kanye West. Ugh, this pains me, but it must be done. I looked past the last time he opened his mouth when he wasn't rapping, but this faux pas is just unforgivable. As I'm sure all of you know at this point, during the MTV video music awards while Taylor Swift was receiving her first award, Mr. I'm a fucking asinine, dumbfuck imbecile, shit head, mother fucker, woe is me, I can do whatever the hell I want Kanye West, decided to interrupt the mild mannered teen and take microphone from Taylor's hands to announce that Beyonce's video was better. Seriously, who does that? He was appropriately booed and just like Senator Wilson's outburst towards the president, I think he should be reprimanded. Perhaps violently beaten with branches of wet Eucalyptus leaves then rolled in salt. I do love a variety of his songs, but I guarantee that I won't be buying anymore. What an ass.
Did I miss anyone?