tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17480878033691184912012-02-09T16:06:02.533-06:00The tales, rants, and reviews of a ghost writer on a quest of self-discovery.Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.comBlogger1711100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-43463364377076446922012-02-09T16:06:00.000-06:002012-02-09T16:06:02.536-06:00

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls My rating: 4 of 5 stars I thoroughly enjoyed this book. By the third page I knew I was going to like it. Jeannette's story-telling is magical and enlightening. It's amazing how her recollections keep you suspended in place of simultaneous disbelief, humor, and horror. Although many of her memories are funny, her book reminds us of the indomitable and

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-17113852471030718092012-01-20T14:46:00.000-06:002012-01-20T14:46:11.175-06:00

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson My rating: 3 of 5 stars So, I enjoyed this book overall, although I think it may have been hyped a little much. Everyone that saw me carrying it around professed how amazing it was. I definitely liked it, but was not blown away. I found it challenging to read through much of the Swedish words at first, and you're not really hooked until a little

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-71117166050033839322012-01-04T11:54:00.003-06:002012-01-04T11:56:56.660-06:00

What the Dog Saw by Malcolm Gladwell My rating: 4 of 5 stars Another great book by Malcom Gladwell. His ability to weave scientific research and social experiments into exciting stories is unsurpassed. Gladwell has an uncanny ability to dissect seemingly innocuous facts and observations, and spin engaging tales. With a unique perspective, he forces you to challenge conventional wisdom and

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-3041970295422000362011-12-21T03:58:00.000-06:002011-12-21T03:58:36.944-06:00

22 years ago today I was fast asleep. Under the veil of darkness, navy seals swam stealthily towards their targets. Weapons were locked and loaded and night vision goggles snapped into position. The overly confident enemy sharpened their blades of corruption. Bombs fell…whistling merrily as they descended upon poverty. Bullets flew, their traces glowing through the night like fireflies at warp

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-20769862782089188112011-12-11T15:55:00.008-06:002011-12-11T16:14:55.275-06:00

I recently read a friend's blog post where she had confessed to reading an article that suggested Southern manners shouldn't be taught to children because they are demeaning given their historical context. This immediately made me think of similar complaints that we tend to hear in more frequency during the holidays. The idea of not teaching children manners is unfathomable to me. It points to a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-91677577603681730922011-12-09T14:07:00.003-06:002011-12-09T14:16:36.351-06:00

Whenever I mention Good Reads to people I often get facial expressions that suggest I asked them for a quart of blood, or if they know the exact distance to the moon. Due to society's digital addiction to social media, I imagine that most people would have heard about this site by now, but I guess it's never too late to learn you a lil sumthin sumthin. So, Goodreads.com is somewhat of a social

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-56697724483818015132011-10-22T17:14:00.004-05:002011-10-22T17:22:28.009-05:00

I recently read an article about some of the challenges that are preventing ebooks from becoming more widespread. In the article there was a side caption that mentioned cell phones being increasingly used as e-readers, a little nugget of information I find slightly harder to swallow than a Volkswagen beetle. One of the things that ultimately contributed to my purchasing an Evo (droid), over an

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-31518569859136283492011-10-20T00:52:00.000-05:002011-10-20T00:52:26.115-05:00

Well, well, well....guess what today is? That's right, it's Haiku Wednesday; a trend I had almost forgotten and left to the wayside. But it has found new life! Feel free to join in...go on...you might even like it. Tufts of hair and dirt, Tumbleweeds across the plains. Roommates are joyful. Cacophonous chimes, dishes find their rightful place. Music to my ears. The mighty pen sighs. weak the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-67650945461904930662011-10-17T23:32:00.003-05:002011-10-18T00:46:43.033-05:00

I've always wanted to skydive...it just never occurred to me that I could do it while having sex. I suppose for some people, the thrill of jumping out of a plane isn't enough; apparently, neither is good old fashioned, regular, wholesome porn either. According to MSNBC.com, a porn star in California, who also happens to be a skydiving instructor, thought it would be a good idea to jump out of a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-50271297615154259272011-10-07T14:41:00.006-05:002011-10-07T18:00:57.833-05:00

I used to think that protests were a waste of time, particularly those aimed at corporate powers or the government. I mean really, besides creating unnecessary pressure on local law enforcement and fodder for the news, what do they really accomplish? What do they change? Over time, I've realized that my feelings were such because we haven’t had a reason to seriously fight for a worthy cause in a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-50630851812221326212011-09-28T14:13:00.003-05:002011-09-28T14:36:14.746-05:00

Apparently Michael Jackson is still capable of taking over the media with his escapades even in the afterlife. Schamone! I was listening to the radio coverage of Dr. Conrad Murray’s trial, the physician who was administering potent sedatives to the King of Pop, and in my professional opinion, something is seriously amiss. The doctor is being charged with neglect and involuntary manslaughter,

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-73421326457852284152011-09-27T17:24:00.001-05:002011-09-28T15:19:06.504-05:00

When I was in junior high school, I was in love with a girl named Rachelle. In fact, I was so in love with her, that when she broke up with me, I cried like a baby. Well, technically, she broke up with me after I confronted her about making out with my best friend Francisco, but who’s really keeping track? She remains the only girl I ever cried over. Oddly enough, one of my biggest regrets in

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-33335866512716081362011-09-23T14:37:00.004-05:002011-09-23T14:56:00.458-05:00

One of the things I love about writing is that I get ample time to choose the right words and combination of words that most accurately express how I feel or what I’m thinking. In school, when a teacher mentions an essay, I smile confidently while most of the class responds with grunts and whines of disapproval at their unfortunate luck. I relish in the opportunity to write, while those with the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-68978646225754305702011-08-30T04:50:00.000-05:002011-08-30T04:50:44.004-05:00

I recently had a conversation with my dad about my last blog post. He mentioned that most of it was over his head, but what he did share was that he remembers back to the three years he spent in seminary, when he had to meditate for an hour and half each morning. He remembers how grounded it made him, but he also recognizes that he was young and inexperienced. He explained that they were

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-85928937721745129312011-08-26T18:19:00.001-05:002011-08-26T18:26:15.418-05:00

Sometimes I feel as though I lead two lives. While I’m at work, I’m tapped into the mother ship. My heart and soul naturally gravitate towards the Center’s vortex of healing and nurturing energy. As though a monk’s apprentice, I am ever diligent and mindful. My body speaks to me, I listen. I hydrate, I meditate, and make conscious efforts to nurture my vessel with healthy and powerful sustenance

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-83411140943790265292011-08-10T03:37:00.001-05:002011-08-10T03:44:16.204-05:00

I watched the new Planet of the Apes movie last night, and I must say I was quite pleased. As a fan of the originals, I was highly anticipating the remakes. Even though I am not a fan of James Franco (I feel he is a little monotone and limited as an actor), the movie was still an excellent prequel to the rebooted series. There is a considerable amount of action, but what was most fascinating to

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-72871484023398862762011-08-01T16:51:00.002-05:002011-08-01T16:57:58.456-05:00

I did something yesterday that I'd never thought I'd do...I bought a netbook. I know, I know, I did try to make it as masculine as I could. I got it in black, doused it in cologne, gave it a spiked collar, and put skull and cross bones stickers all over the cover. Somehow though, I still don't think it's enough. In the end, I'm still carrying around a mini computer. Handy, but not handyman-ish,

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-34317681450728024952011-07-21T12:35:00.004-05:002011-07-21T12:48:18.333-05:00

So, I woke up at 7:30 a.m. this morning. Now, I realize that for many of you this may be a common practice, and may even be a lifestyle preference. However, for those of us who work in the dark cavernous bowels of a spa, and who have a genetic predisposition to laziness, this time may as well be when Satan comes to Earth with legions of demons and proceeds to possess people’s souls. At least it

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-81905973350302376092011-04-12T03:31:00.002-05:002011-04-12T03:38:06.944-05:00

Extortion – (noun) the act of securing money, favors, etc. by intimidation or violence; blackmail. As I entered my local grocery store, I noticed a Hispanic couple huddled around the Red Box movie dispenser as if it were a campfire. The wife was in pajamas, with a bright pink, fleece blanket draped over her shoulders like a homeless person, speaking into a cell phone. I momentarily imagined her

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-79180934049304047022011-04-06T17:00:00.006-05:002011-04-06T17:18:03.300-05:00

Being a massage therapist has its major inconveniences, such as having to be extra careful handling everything from kitchen knives to post it notes. One false move can put you in a finger condom for a week, and let’s face it, nobody likes condoms. As active as I am, I always suffer from inevitable cuts, scrapes, or jammed fingers, and finding creative ways to work around ailing digits can be a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-78666629107521208952011-03-30T22:30:00.003-05:002011-03-30T22:43:25.054-05:00

It’s Haiku Wednesday bitches! Hmmm…I wonder if that configuration of words has ever existed prior to today…Forgive my elation; I was momentarily possessed by Eminem. Anyway, yall know what time it is...So, without further ado: Today is Wednesday,I had to be reminded.Ginseng is costly. Put down your phone or,you will not enter my lane.How quickly birds fly. Just got a new phone.I think I have

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-3236826755280507512011-03-23T02:36:00.002-05:002011-03-23T02:43:20.166-05:00

Hey, it’s Haiku Wednesday! Well, okay, maybe I just made that up. Fine, maybe someone else suggested it, and then I created it. Does it really matter who in the   Hey everyone, it’s Haiku Wednesday! I had this great idea come to me, and I thought I would share with you some Haiku. Nothing fancy….just something to put on the blog since I have people hounding affectionately reminding me to update

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-30814662975475475712011-03-09T03:20:00.005-06:002011-03-10T01:37:21.694-06:00

For the majority of my adult life I can honestly say that I’ve never really known what I wanted. Well, with the exception of a few things like wanting to fall in love, obtain wisdom, and become a ninja, I have always known that I want to go back in time and be seven again, when there was never a doubt about what I wanted. At seven, I wanted to build forts, climb trees, ride my bike, pretend I

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-45350848732929686162011-02-10T03:16:00.003-06:002011-02-10T03:30:51.913-06:00

Don’t know how many of you watched the Super bowl this year, but I was one of the alleged 111 million viewers. I am a devoted football fan and even though my team didn’t make the big game, I was still thrilled at the idea of getting to hang out with family and see the final grid iron match of the season. The super bowl is also a great opportunity to watch some witty, humorous, and imaginative

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-62020328326521902492011-01-23T00:29:00.000-06:002011-01-23T00:29:39.880-06:00

This past year was, in many ways, one of the best in my life. While I had no profound epiphanies, transformations, or adventures, I did make small discoveries, which allowed me to grow as a person and become a more efficient communicator. In and of itself, I suppose this is a rather significant accomplishment, however, the results were entirely unintentional; so I’m not really sure I can start

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-40722388473461826682011-01-03T19:45:00.003-06:002011-01-03T19:47:18.400-06:00

I sincerely hope that you all had a blessed and fulfilling holiday. I realize that it has been a little while since our last correspondence, so I figured it would be best to start the New Year on the right foot. Particularly, since the left is not nearly as handsome and veers slightly to the left. Nonetheless, we generally don’t talk about it as he is still loved. As you all know, I come from a

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-26369758330767786752010-08-23T16:35:00.003-05:002010-08-23T16:50:44.779-05:00

I hate my new toothbrush. If it weren't utterly disgusting too late, I'd fish my old one out of the trash. Besides...dirty dishes, empty ice cream containers, and sulking in a bathrobe all morning, are tall tale signs that my roommate is on her period. Saying that I would be wary of retrieving the Holy Grail from the bathroom trash bin at this point would be an understatement. One of the things

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-66501806549016721212010-08-16T20:14:00.002-05:002010-08-16T20:22:55.331-05:00

I figure the best thing to do in this scenario is just to be honest. I suppose you can’t hide from yourself forever. Eventually, your reflection stops believing your lies. The truth is…..I have an addiction. That’s right, it’s finally out. I can breathe now.  The secret no longer needs to be tucked away in tiny envelopes and buried deep in the cavernous bowels of my subconscious. The thing that

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-28601790515318106482010-08-01T23:25:00.000-05:002010-08-01T23:25:38.805-05:00

As summer turns the corner into the final stretch, we say good-bye to one of the most ironic and paradoxical fund raising campaigns known to man. As you all undoubtedly know, I have a healthy adoration for breasts and will go to great lengths to defend them in their plight against breast cancer (or any other adversary for that matter). However, upon discovering that Susan G. Komen was joining

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-78800079585532923862010-07-16T19:17:00.003-05:002010-07-16T19:21:12.656-05:00

Okay, so if you haven’t seen Toy Story 3 yet, you need to work that out. It’s worth the 60 15 dollars. I think, dare I say it, that it is the best one of the series. Don’t get me wrong, I do think the first one was incredible, but it is very possible that the third installment is either as good, or even better than its predecessors! Poppycock, you may be thinking, but I assure you it is quite

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-29916722562718185952010-06-24T02:03:00.002-05:002010-06-26T18:36:33.876-05:00

You know how in the movies when different law enforcement agencies fight over jurisdiction and the overseeing of a particular crime scene? Well, I’ve finally discovered why this happens. I was on my way home from work the other day when I witnessed a particularly hair rising incident. I was driving by a elderly cyclist, when she suddenly started wobbling and losing control. I continued to watch

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-21830395644469111352010-06-07T13:05:00.000-05:002010-06-07T13:05:22.085-05:00

Why is it that every time I go to buy a new toothbrush, there seems to be a mass shortage? Literally, empty rows of preventative dental care instruments. I want to stave off gingivitis as much as the next person, but I don’t feel the need to by a 5 pack in order to do so? Are people not brushing anymore, is there not a sufficient demand for dental hygiene products that warrants keeping the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-16624776849017058302010-06-03T03:00:00.003-05:002010-06-07T13:10:09.150-05:00

If you are interested in a quick, but fascinating read, The Tipping Point, by Malcom Gladwell, is the book for you. The author has a fluid and compelling style of writing that is easy to understand as he presents groundbreaking analysis of scientific research on how trends either spark and spread like wildfire, or fizzle out and die. The book is about how small details, or subtle change can have

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-53195065679941683442010-05-27T23:50:00.003-05:002010-05-27T23:52:15.607-05:00

So, I had another interesting dream last night. This would be the second bizarre dream in a row. Not an astonishing feat by any means, but my brain certainly has my full attention. I generally have three types of dreams, the key word, of course, being generally. The first, is the normal, run-of-the-mill type of dream where I'm in a hot tub with swimsuit models in the French Alps, and you know....

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-13586707089578839062010-05-14T18:22:00.004-05:002010-05-14T23:16:41.343-05:00

I have a rather vivid imagination, it helps to pass the time during a massage when I'm having difficulty staying in the present. Generally, these lapses of focus are occupied mostly by thoughts of food. However, when I'm not thinking about my next meal, I'm often playing the Panty Game. The Panty Game is where I  imagine what people are like and what they do by the brand, style, and material of

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-70594415530445566732010-05-10T00:50:00.001-05:002010-05-10T00:54:44.050-05:00

Robert Downey Jr. reprises his role as the witty, volatile, and insanely rich Tony Stark. Along side him are Don Cheadle, Scarlett Johansson, and Samuel L. Jackson. Gwyeneth Paltrow returns as the perpetually worried Pepper Potts and continuing his career revitalization campaign, is the often underrated Mickey Rourke, as Ivan Vanko, the film's antagonist. I won't go into plot details, because

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-57528862020006883812010-05-09T16:12:00.000-05:002010-05-09T16:12:26.420-05:00

Just a quick post to wish all mothers a wonderful Mother's day! Going to watch Iron Man 2 tonight and will also be finishing a fascinating book. (can barely wait to tell you about it!) I'll review both of them tonight! Au voir.

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-57859250494525218342010-05-07T20:46:00.009-05:002010-05-10T23:09:24.600-05:00

Psssssssssssssst! Hey. You there, yeah you.....I'm baaa-aaack! Brown's back in the game with an all new look, but that same ol' swagger. Going to continue with some original themes such as book and movie reviews, but also adding a product review segment. That's an open invitation to all you inventors, artists, enthusiasts, business owners, and mavens. If you've made something, found something,

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-52081807446884240262009-09-21T13:30:00.001-05:002009-09-21T23:38:46.116-05:00

I understand the concept of getting a massage early in the morning and not having showered, (okay, well not really) but if you're feet look like you've been treading through soot, or like you've been using them to dig for oil, then we've got a problem. The spa has amenities, extremely nice ones I might add, and you should use them. Also, for your convenience, we provide expensive, aromatic body

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-39306426578738445032009-09-18T12:48:00.002-05:002009-09-18T22:59:46.547-05:00

I suppose you've waited long enough, here is the Dumbass of the Week Award..... This week was extremely difficult to decide, being that stupidity was so pervasive in the news. Although I generally bestow the award to dumbasses for whom no love is lost, this week's award is given with a slight pang of sorrow.Drumroll please......... The winner is a two way tie! I know, I know...nothing like this

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-53902552224108347192009-09-15T15:18:00.008-05:002009-09-15T23:22:50.946-05:00

I have a slew of blog posts that are eagerly waiting to be published and enjoyed by my thousands hundreds many two readers, but after perusing today's headlines, I knew that the following story took precedence. Along with my admiration for breasts, most of you know that I revere animals as well. Oftentimes, holding them in even higher regards than most humans; particularly the stupid ones. Case

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-60030943537212432782009-09-03T18:23:00.004-05:002009-09-03T19:33:57.701-05:00

People who don't take off their jewelry before a massage. I am not Jacob, or a pawn shop; I don't care how big the rock your husband got you is, you don't need to know what time it is, and no, I don't think your anklet is cute. Take it off. Pretty Please. With a fucking cherry on top.If you can afford my prices, I already know you have money. Perhaps you're accustomed to going to lesser massage

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-86456357630837447452009-08-06T02:45:00.000-05:002009-08-06T04:45:44.144-05:00

Working in a luxury resort has many perks, one being that I get to meet and work on celebrities. Unfortunately, we have a very specific protocol to follow which limits the interaction we can have with our clients, putting a significant damper on my ability to find out the most coveted secrets in life, such as who will be leaving the cast of Gray's Anatomy, what new nursing show will emerge, and

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-63978343799522419032009-07-25T12:51:00.005-05:002009-07-25T14:13:44.957-05:00

On the recommendations of a couple of fellow bloggers, I went to Barnes & Noble to pick up a few summer reads, because everyone knows that my only passion in life that compares to my adoration of breasts, is books. They both can come hard or soft, they both can nurture you, entertain you, and even educate you. Books however will never sag. At least not for a very very long time.Lolita and the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-10585713545738962542009-07-16T04:05:00.000-05:002009-07-16T19:01:38.327-05:00

I read an article the other day about the concerns of proper grammar usage and spelling in everyday life in relation to texting. The main theme of the article was sort of rhetorical, but did pose the question of whether or not we, society in general, were becoming stupider more stupid due to the frequency in which we use slang, acronyms, abbreviations, and phonetics to communicate through text

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-7742251081389708852009-07-09T11:19:00.005-05:002009-07-09T16:48:27.221-05:00

Apparently, cellphones are the bane of my existence. If I'm not getting bitched out by some disgruntled cashier over one, I'm putting my phone through the most rigorous high velocity impact tests known to man. I'm not quite certain how some of this shit happens, but I've managed to drop my phone in a toilet and accidentally kick it across a parking lot a few times. It's been stepped on, bounced

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-74635324109093013122009-07-08T10:08:00.000-05:002009-07-08T12:10:25.648-05:00

I had a disconcerting experience today while I picked up a few things at a local store. After I had located my desired items and deposited them in the bacteria infested cesspool of a shopping basket, I headed towards the open cashier to pay. As I began placing the items on the counter, I received a phone call from work and had to answer it being that I could be getting called in to rub rich

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-17284223169548525212009-06-29T04:01:00.012-05:002009-07-02T01:06:31.033-05:00

Okay, it's been almost 9 months since I did my last book review, so without further ado . . . . . (The books are in descending order, starting with the most recently read)A Thousand Splendid Suns: Khaled Hosseini's second novel after Kite Runner, which was equally amazing. As with its predecessor, A Thousand Splendid Suns takes place in war-ridden Afghanistan. Hosseini manages to concoct another

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-7328057745799071822009-06-26T15:23:00.010-05:002009-06-28T04:24:11.814-05:00

Albeit sad, his passing seemed a little less shocking than the effect you would initially expect to elicit from a tragedy of this magnitude. In retrospect, I think it had so much to do with Michael Jackson's transformations and latest media woes.Everyone was grossly aware of how significantly his appearance changed over the years and although he may have lost many fans with his celebrity antics

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-83552547491471280932009-06-11T11:03:00.005-05:002009-06-11T12:07:13.615-05:00

Enough of the philosophical, self reflective, transcendentalist, rhetorical, girly-man shit . . . let's get our hands dirty people. It's time for the Dumbass of the Week Award.Last month a 72 year old woman was pulled over for a traffic violation in Texas. The video footage from the trooper's dashcam was recently released, and it shows the majority of what went down.I was listening to the radio

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-69088553877670836322009-06-09T00:37:00.001-05:002009-06-09T02:12:22.521-05:00

It's infinitely amazing to me how our souls are like prisms that filter the light of the world and project powerful tapestries of colors that do more than just describe who we are through a revelation of intricate hues. Our colors, indicative of our true identities, also harness unfathomable quantities of potential energy that can propel planets or even ignite entire galaxies into existence.My

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-27503387706139129742009-06-04T23:07:00.000-05:002009-06-04T23:12:01.101-05:00

More poetic dribble . . . .PAINTED BLACKA glance, a tilt, no softer wish.I watch you paint it black,I yearn to be that mystic fish,Swimming -in your sea of black.No idle stares nor summer cloth,Deserve your heart’s attack.Like sultry flames that seduce the moth,You stare at mine, I stare right back.A thousand skies of wasted hue,Where rainbows never lack.Your beauty ignites the phoenix new,Our

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-18095891924300486292009-06-01T20:13:00.004-05:002009-06-01T20:16:55.478-05:00

Thought I'd share a poem I wrote a few days ago. . . for those of you still reading this dribble anyway. . . .I Lost A World TodayI lost a world just today,Has anybody seen?It shone before -but no more,No longer bright and sheen.Upon its lips one winter kiss,And one from shifting sands.Upon its heart an Atlas weight,Too bearing for my hands.I lost a world just today,Or perhaps I didn’t

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-89047429942579766362009-04-26T00:54:00.003-05:002009-04-26T01:23:38.445-05:00

As many of you now know I have a plethora of women in my family and although they went to great lengths to teach me the ways of the samurai, they went to even greater ones to hide the fact that women poop. As a matter of fact, although privy to every other female secret, I had been brainwashed to believe that they also never ever fart. Ever. I didn't discover that women pass gas until well into

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-28138842391744239372009-04-18T14:15:00.000-05:002009-04-19T02:05:19.425-05:00

So, a third movie was made about the Marvel Comic book character, the Punisher, and let me tell you . . . .testicle pulling torture more adequately describes having to watch this cinematic pile of cow dung than anything else. This movie instantly became one of the top 3 worst movies of all time. It had every action movie cliche' and made movies like DareDevil and Electra look like Academy Award

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-74657480889548171062009-04-16T19:37:00.002-05:002009-04-16T21:45:11.016-05:00

Oftentimes, the best lessons in life we learn without even knowing it. Mr. Miyagi began teaching Daniel Karate by making him wax his cars, paint his house and fence, and sand the floors. Similarly, my Father taught me some of life's most valuable lessons by teaching me how to play baseball.My Dad taught me how to properly oil and shape a new baseball glove; carefully and meticulously working the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-63244587269523547632009-03-30T15:07:00.005-05:002009-03-30T15:52:44.335-05:00

I have discovered the Holy Grail! Okay, well, not like the actual cup of Christ with life saving capabilities and all, but more like the next best thing. For those of us that like to read or watch movies anyway. And I didn't exactly discover it really, my sister Cris more or less sat me in front of her computer and showed me the awesome amazingness that is Swaptree.com. I'm sure for all of you

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-86527050444576698612009-03-27T02:02:00.008-05:002009-03-27T03:43:50.303-05:00

I often think that I possess extraordinary knowledge when it comes to women. After all, I have five sisters who made it their personal endeavor to "groom" me into a man that had all of the characteristics they deemed necessary for the perfect gentleman. Having been exposed to this kind of torture environment during my impressionable years has also provided me with invaluable insight into the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-62894863217526964482009-02-13T01:31:00.000-06:002009-02-14T00:17:40.088-06:00

Pssssssssssst! Hey . . . . you. Are they gone? You know, all those relentless poopie fanatics. I was hoping to shake the majority of those thoughtless, uncultured minions off my trail with an extended hiatus. All the e-mails, letters, and comments were becoming too overwhelming. I mean really, who has time to respond to all that shit?Well, now that it appears to be just us select few again , let

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-43637249964686472462008-12-10T02:36:00.001-06:002008-12-12T13:39:40.585-06:00

Well, I think it's pretty obvious who the Dumb ass of the week is. Unquestionably, the award is bestowed to Plaxico Buress, a wide receiver for the New York Giants football team.If you haven't heard already, numb nuts took a loaded weapon to a nightclub, and accidentally shot his stupid ass self in the leg. Right. In. The. Leg. I think I may have to repeat this for the sake of clarity; this man

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-23660147317579921502008-12-02T12:15:00.001-06:002008-12-02T14:31:13.739-06:00

I really wanted to love this movie. I was so excited to see it, that being let down was the farthest thing from my mind, even after I had discovered they weren't going to keep the same director as it's immediate predecessor, Casino Royale, which was brilliant, edgy, and refreshing. So much so, that I never resist watching it over and over again when the opportunity arises. The director got it

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-43554849949230944682008-12-01T02:46:00.006-06:002008-12-02T00:49:48.930-06:00

Well, against my better judgement, I finally succumbed to my sister's relentless pleading to read Twilight. I hope that she doesn't read this, (I feel that my honesty might crush her entirely) but here is what I thought about it in a nutshell; it was okay.I feel that the story took entirely way too long to develop, and when the suspense had finally peaked, reaching the long awaited climax, much

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-53591867051203551612008-11-19T12:45:00.007-06:002008-11-19T14:18:28.163-06:00

I looked over to the lane next to mine as I was driving yesterday, to witness one of the more baffling traffic sights one can encounter. (besides motorcyclists being scraped off the pavement of course) I saw this tiny Filipino woman literally compressed between the driver seat and her dangerously encroaching steering wheel like a grilled cheese sandwich. The steering wheel appeared to have the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-65964974043673078232008-11-14T16:09:00.006-06:002008-11-14T17:48:25.833-06:00

Haven't felt much like writing lately, so I've been dedicating that time to reading instead. Besides, there are a few books I need to knock out before I'm ready to take on that new Twilight series. I just hope it's as good as I've heard.On a similar note, I have mixed emotions about reading books before watching the movie, or vice versa. Movies will inevitably leave out chunks of important

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-52892200097484254762008-10-31T23:48:00.000-05:002008-11-01T02:53:50.019-05:00

Happy Halloween!I hate it when this happens. . . . .

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-16980053645933843382008-10-30T11:10:00.003-05:002008-10-30T13:43:37.649-05:00

I watch way too much TV. As a matter of fact, I watch so much TV that my Tivo asks me for recommendations. I think I may have to see a therapist, and by therapist, I mean the ones that hand out antidepressants for Halloween.My TV turns itself on and off at specified times, records programs 24/7, and I'm working on getting it to make me a sandwich. Not only do I watch too many TV shows, but I

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-2519335342491801332008-10-28T17:54:00.006-05:002008-10-28T19:09:20.248-05:00

Now that October is coming to an end, the world's efforts on eradicating breast cancer will lose steam, and all the chatter about boobies will eventually turn to soft, inaudible whispers. Women's breasts will again be a thing of the past. Your very own breasts could become mere relics to which no one will gander, ornaments devoid of purpose. Once powerfully mesmerizing cleavage to become nothing

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-77192851367057224912008-10-23T12:18:00.004-05:002008-10-23T12:56:47.952-05:00

Well, since nobody could figure out the movie references from my last post, I suppose I'll have to tell you now. Not that anyone was hounding me to spill it or anything, I just figured in the midst of a an economic meltdown that people should have their movie quotes in order. Better yet, because I like to drag things out for my own twisted amusement, I will offer a couple of obnoxiously obvious

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-91223970835690576022008-10-17T23:48:00.007-05:002008-10-19T12:40:03.332-05:00

I was perusing some on-line articles the other day, and I came across this gem about Car Surfing, which of course I had no choice but to comment on. I'm pretty sure I was being called upon to do so by a higher power, so I apologize in advance. Car Surfing is when a passenger of a car, or even the driver in some cases, performs stunts on the outside of the moving vehicle as if they were surfing it

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-26548688533963177172008-10-16T01:58:00.005-05:002008-10-16T03:23:48.473-05:00

I'm sure most of you watched the debate, or at least those of you who aren't under the assumption that the presidency has already been decided because of skin color. But for those of you who did, I just wanted to point out some occurrences and observations that I found in each candidates approach.During the debate, I noticed that, even after the moderator had encouraged the nominees to share

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-31420166649313301452008-10-15T22:40:00.002-05:002008-10-15T23:51:21.914-05:00

So, I've been recuperating for the past few days from a gluttonous 4 day eating and drinking binge with a bunch of feisty Cubans and even feistier Brits (they literally can drink like fishes). One of my closest buddies, La Cubana Gringa, got married over the weekend and I had the distinct pleasure of being the MC for the reception. I'm not entirely sure what she was thinking when she offered to

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-788671720182722102008-10-14T11:18:00.000-05:002008-10-15T23:59:13.436-05:00

Hazing, Initiation, Busting Balls, or Popping Cherries . . . . Whatever you want to call it, apparently it even occurs in gourmet kitchens. Enjoy. . . .Cheers!

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-41025317172710735832008-10-06T02:31:00.001-05:002008-10-08T01:57:20.823-05:00

As you all know, my favorite month of year is finally here. An entire month dedicated to one of God's greatest masterpieces. A month greater than the ones that celebrate the taking discovery of America, its independence, or the heritage of its citizens. An entire month in which I can shout from the rooftops, professing my undying love for breasts and not be thought mad. Okay, well maybe it's too

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-53411087899819268152008-10-04T11:47:00.005-05:002008-10-04T12:51:50.221-05:00

I don't claim to be a political expert on debate, but I have seen all the movies on this subject. And what I do expect from individuals who have agreed to debate, is to answer the moderators questions. None of this, "I want to talk about energy", bullshit. We've already heard what you wanted say about your energy plan, and unless you have anything to add, I would appreciate it if you would just

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-79998837287139383832008-10-01T12:23:00.006-05:002008-10-03T12:07:55.275-05:00

I know, I know, you minions have waited long enough for the coveted Dumb ass of the week Award. It certainly has been a while since the award has been given out, and not for a lack of dumb asses I must say. Because let's be honest, this thing could practically have a two hour special on ABC and we still wouldn't have enough to go around. Between Congress, our cockamamie president, celebrities,

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-57232659988249627682008-09-28T00:06:00.001-05:002008-09-28T15:37:18.739-05:00

Top Ten clues that I'm going to have a difficult client:1) They are checking e-mails or talking on their cell phone in the "Relaxation Room".Seriously?2) They are built like a Mac truck . . . . ."Hey, anybody want my three o'clock? I think I'm getting a cramp!"3) They have diarrhea of the mouth from the second I greet them. . . . .Do NOT ear rape me. I don't get paid enough.4) The first words the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-17076130028894625802008-09-25T12:00:00.005-05:002008-09-25T15:18:10.052-05:00

I think I have a problem. I just read a book in three days. TH-REEEEEE days! Once I start I just can't stop. I want to know what happens. No. I need to know what happens! I just went to a little book store on the edge of town, as if it were a crack house, to stock up for the coming weeks. And when I want to encourage children to read I tell them it's just like crack. "You'll love it!" I say. "

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-226007434763777712008-09-20T11:21:00.008-05:002008-09-20T13:21:15.719-05:00

So, my Dad calls me this morning about wanting to share some sort of poem. Like an eager child exacting his parent's attention before showing them how he can jump off the diving board, he says, "Brown, listen to this:"I used to rule the world,Seas would rise when I gave the word.Now in the morning I sleep alone,sweep the streets that I used to own.Apparently, after the disastrous week in the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-50414545369812468652008-09-17T21:00:00.000-05:002008-09-17T23:00:37.361-05:00

Although I should be bringing this up next month, since technically October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I just got so excited thinking about breasts that I couldn't wait to talk about those lovely mammary mounds of joy. Surely at this point I don’t have to expend a single breathe expressing my wholehearted devotion to the preservation of breasts and my indefatigable vow to support the

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-21978013955382178422008-09-15T16:54:00.006-05:002008-09-15T18:26:00.431-05:00

So, I recently read this post from a blogger, (True Tales of a Hair wrecker) that I started following, and was reminded about another pet peeve that really grinds my gears. I absolutely detest people who are impolite and have no sense of common courtesy. I hate them almost as much as I hate one eyed midgets and those stupid cycling helpmets that look like a giant sperm. Almost.That's right people

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-59857307735450748352008-09-12T11:13:00.000-05:002008-09-13T14:16:27.138-05:00

In celebration of my infinite wellspring of useless knowledge, I found it appropriate to share a little gadget with you that would simultaneously symbolize my savant-like abilities and help to spread the wisdom of impractical trivia. This bastion of useless information, although not as brilliant as the cuss-o-meter, is equally as adored and hopefully will serve to educate you, or at the very

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-78236986493275534902008-09-10T22:47:00.001-05:002008-09-11T00:45:08.154-05:00

Probably one of the Grand Daddy of all my pet peeves is people who do not tip 18 to 20%. Plain and simple. If you can't afford to tip your therapist even a measly 15%, then you shouldn't be getting a massage to begin with. What's even worse, is when people tip like that when someone else is paying for their service. If you come to get a massage with a Gift Certificate and don't have the decency

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-31038925756079458162008-09-05T15:00:00.005-05:002008-09-22T02:35:53.044-05:00

Warning: The following entry contains a significant amount of foul language, and although not primarily intended to offend anyone, certainly harnesses the inherent capability of doing so. With that said, if you have delicate sensibilities, are underage, or suffer from a heart condition, then you definitely should not read this. As a matter of fact you came to the wrong place altogether. . .As you

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-41843184993569958752008-08-13T10:51:00.003-05:002008-09-17T11:42:44.313-05:00

The world is coming to an end. El fin. Fino. La Fin. Daas enda. How do I know this you intriguingly ask? By the housing crisis? By increasing gas and food prices? Or by polar ice caps melting due to accelerated global warming caused by deforestation, increased gas emissions, and pollutants released into the atmosphere eventually causing the inevitable destruction of man-kind by the powerful

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-21542501262838598322008-08-08T12:25:00.002-05:002008-08-08T15:52:37.995-05:00

I suppose when it's your time to go, it's your time to go. I often wonder if there's somebody in heaven who's job is dedicated solely to monitoring an enormous room with billions of shelves full of clocks with every one's name on it, and when your clock indicates that your time is up, he picks up the receiver on the red phone with a one way line directly to the angel of death, (or he might even

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-74324197551215670952008-08-01T14:38:00.002-05:002008-08-05T17:41:33.623-05:00

Ah yes, ladies and Gentlemen, summer is undoubtedly here. The lovely time of year when people are on vacation visiting the beach, the monuments, museums, and amusement parks, putting countless unforgiving miles on their feet. Never paying them any mind until the end of the day when they finally turn in for the night and realize that they've been mercilessly pummeling their feet by not only

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-72575744870759571792008-06-18T19:03:00.005-05:002008-06-18T19:58:27.660-05:00

I'm not exactly sure how one can possibly drop a gas pump nozzle on one's big toe, but I have found a way to do it. In flip flops.Apparently, being late for work and having to pay today's exorbitant gas prices was not enough of a slap in the face this morning, that I had to attempt to sever a toe for good measure. It wasn't like I had extra virgin olive oil on my hands, or hair gel, or even

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-86943582652513524602008-05-20T21:33:00.003-05:002008-05-21T00:39:50.636-05:00

I worked on a client today who we shall name Mike, because quite frankly, his name is Mike and making up names for people is almost as disrespectful as calling their mother a whore. Almost. Mike has many tattoos. And when I say many, I mean that I have worked on him at least 6 times and I still continue to find details in his tattoos that I hadn't noticed before. On one shoulder he has a gigantic

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-54716276045457746052008-03-27T01:38:00.004-05:002008-03-28T02:15:03.193-05:00

I hope everybody had a wonderful Easter. More appropriately, I hope you enjoyed your day off gorging on ham, potato salad, and fountains of endlessly flowing chocolate. Although I'm a little too old for egg hunting, I did chase a bunch of hoodlums through the neighborhood with a BB-gun. Baby Jesus would have been proud, since I had originally given it up for lent.Over the past few years I've

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-49371102440944576512008-03-21T01:57:00.001-05:002008-03-21T12:29:37.823-05:00

I’m not really sure what the appeal is with this next pet peeve, but I am about fed up with flipping through magazines and seeing advertisements with models in midair as if to say that you’ll be part of some elite flying society of pretty preppy people for buying their clothes. Everywhere I look; it’s an athlete, an actress, a dancer, a fucking baby suspended in air like they took Willy Wonka’s

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-84700232640179353542008-03-19T14:30:00.005-05:002008-03-19T16:57:31.420-05:00

I'm the type of guy that's never really at a loss for words. Sure, there are times when I've spat some quick witted retort and shortly afterward thought of something a bit more clever to say, but I'm rarely ever left without at least something to be expressed. Until today that is. Today, I was rendered absolutely and unequivocally speechless. "What could possibly have accomplished this seemingly

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-83187386204281258292008-03-17T10:30:00.002-05:002008-03-17T10:42:01.122-05:00

You will never believe what I saw at the gym this weekend, an object of antiquity that personifies obsolescence in its purest form, a dinosaur amongst men. A fellow gym patron walked by and as he passed I noticed there was Walkman strapped snugly around his waist, as if proudly on display. Can you believe that shit? I haven’t seen one of these fossils since, oh I don’t know, the 80’s. The

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-87175238424330678122008-03-13T11:46:00.002-05:002008-03-14T11:59:00.216-05:00

My first appointment today was a Hot Stone massage. After asking the client a few questions about what she wanted and describing the process of the massage, I quickly realized that this wasn't what she was looking for. It would help if a thorough overview of our massage services were included in the training of the front desk girls. It seems that the only prerequisite for their employment is

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-58344434148992540512008-03-12T23:48:00.000-05:002008-03-14T01:28:34.889-05:00

I am proud to report that on Tuesday my best friend G-money and I went on a little adventure of sorts. It had been a while since our last. His bachelor party to be exact.So, G-money used to date this girl who we shall call . . . . . . . The Whore. They met in college, sparks flew, [Insert finger in mouth now] and blah blah blah. Well, six years went by, they were engaged, and things were

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-27513723863790806382008-03-10T14:38:00.000-05:002008-03-12T22:10:55.589-05:00

I had six clients on Sunday, following a night of sleeplessness and as I was elbow deep in my last slab of flesh, watching the minutes going by slower than a turtle on heroin wading through molasses, I got to thinking that I should probably share a little nugget of priceless info; turtles would never ever ever, be wading through molasses and if you want to get the best a masseuse has to offer, I

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-23723081236845497862008-03-08T21:29:00.000-06:002008-03-08T21:05:17.289-06:00

I absolutely can't stand when people keep their eyes open during a massage, looking around or staring at the ceiling like a corpse. Some clients up the weird factor when they stare right at you. That shit creeps me the hell out. It reminds me of that one painting of Jesus my mom had in the stairwell of our house when I was growing up. You know the one I'm talking about, where Jesus is holding up

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-70907755655558707412008-03-06T23:08:00.004-06:002008-03-07T00:49:37.187-06:00

I worked on Paul Bunyan today. He didn't have a blue bull with him, but he did have a battery in his ass. I kid you not, this mammoth man had a battery "in-side" his ass. All up in his ass. Apparently, one day his spinal cord decided to randomly start sending electrical impulses directly to one of his testicles causing excruciating pain. (If given the choice, something tells me he would have

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-4963047201951711042008-03-04T11:00:00.001-06:002008-03-05T00:03:51.359-06:00

Mainly because I have nothing better to do at two o'clock in the morning than kill zombies, I thought I'd compile a a list of my top ten pet peeves with performing massage.1. The number one customer complaint about a massage is that the pressure was too much, or not enough. I can't tell you how many times I hear a client say that somebody practically beat them up, or they barely felt anything at

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-48697631745281294472008-03-02T23:22:00.011-06:002008-03-04T23:12:32.495-06:00

I've been meaning to incorporate a weekly Movie Review segment in my blog, but being that I wouldn't be getting paid, it all just seems like a lot of work really. And as much as I may like most of you, I don't feel as though I need a part time job at the moment. So, in lieu of having some formal weekly column, I'll try to review them as regularly as possible in hopes of saving you from foolishly

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1748087803369118491.post-39764261831716635492008-03-02T20:31:00.006-06:002008-11-13T02:03:46.076-06:00

This might seem a little strange and even a bit nit picky on some levels, but after dropping the kids off at the pool, nothing is more unraveling to me than reaching for the toilet paper to find that the roll was put on upside down (This of course being a close second to reaching for toilet paper to not find any at all). I realize it may seem a little peculiar, and why this dishevels my peace of

Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11673647369314747918noreply@blogger.com2